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Seinfeld

Seinfeld
  • Rating: 8.90
  • Year of issue: 1990
  • Genres: Comedy
  • Countries: United States
  • Duration: 22 minutes
  • Complexity: 10

The proceeding accidents of neurotic New york city City stand-up comedian Jerry Seinfeld and also his just as unstable New york city City friends.

  • The very first episode. Jerry is ecstatic that a woman he met on the road is coming to stay with him in New York. George and Kramer weigh in on how Jerry should best approach the situation.
  • Jerry and George stake out the lobby of an office building to find a woman Jerry met at a party but whose name and phone number he didn't get.
  • Jerry and George stake out the lobby of an office building to find a woman Jerry met at a party but whose name and phone number he didn't get.
  • Jerry meets an attractive woman at a party but by the time she leaves, he has only learned where she works. Jerry stakes out the mystery woman's office with George so that he can “casually” bump into her.
  • Jerry is robbed after Kramer fails to close the apartment door. Elaine talks Jerry into looking at a fabulous apartment in the hopes that she can then have Jerry's place. Things are further complicated when George decides he wants the new place too.
  • After Jerry's apartment is robbed, Jerry starts to look for other apartments. But Jerry and George both want the same apartment, and Elaine wants the apartment of whomever loses out.
  • Jerry tries to “break-up” with his obnoxious childhood friend but his pathetic weeping leads Jerry to give him another chance. Elaine helps Jerry come up with excuses to avoid him.
  • Jerry tries various excuses to avoid meeting with an old friend with whom he no longer shares any interests.
  • Jerry becomes apprehensive when he and George buy stock and the price falls while the person who suggested the stock is in a coma and can't tell them when to sell.
  • Jerry and George get their dentist in trouble while trying to get free massages. George feels uncomfortable getting a massage from a man. Kramer sees Joe DiMaggio in a donut shop.
  • A bad breakup between George and his girlfriend leads to tax troubles for Jerry.
  • Jerry is forced to care for the disobedient dog of a man he met on a plane.
  • The fate of people from Jerry's and George's past is revealed as Jerry is forced to account for an overdue book from 1971. Kramer falls for a librarian. Elaine fears trouble at work.
  • Jerry and Elaine travel to Florida for a dinner in honor of his father. Jerry gets into an argument with a neighbor of his parents over an “astronaut pen.”
  • The four get stuck in a parking garage for hours when they forget where they parked.
  • Jerry tries to help a new immigrant restaurant owner across the street from him. George, afraid of embarrassment, asks Elaine to take an IQ test for him.
  • George orders hair growing cream from China. Jerry is mesmerized by a dirty message left on a tape recorder from his last performance. George becomes infatuated with Elaine.
  • Jerry dates a vacuous actress and struggles with overcoming his sexual desire for her. George dates a woman with a large nose, who decides to get a nose job after a careless comment from Kramer.
  • Jerry's car is stolen. Elaine dates an older man. Kramer gets a small role in a Woody Allen movie filmed on his and Jerry's block. George must deal with the commotion of the movie filming as he gets a job parking cars on the block.
  • George gets a job at Elaine's office and gets involved with the cleaning woman. Elaine's boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic who falls off the wagon because of Jerry's carelessness. George buys Elaine a marked-down cashmere sweater.
  • After a suicide attempt by Jerry's neighbor lands him in a coma, Jerry begins a relationship with his girlfriend. George visits a psychic who predicts trouble on his upcoming trip. Elaine agonizes over having to fast before surgery.
  • Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine leave the comfort of Jerry's building and take to the New York subway. But comedy abruptly ensues as our characters embark on their individual adventures.
  • In this episode, Kramer joins the Polar Bears and Jerry obsesses over a hard to load Pez Dispenser. While George struggles to get “hand” from his pianist girlfriend whose concert is ruined due to Elaine's, “Pez induced laughter.”
  • In the first hour-long episode, Jerry hooks up with Keith Hernandez at the gym. He tries to meet with Keith only to be shunned because Keith is infatuated with Elaine. George tries to keep his unemployment money coming in when he tells the unemployment officer that he got a job with “Vandelay Industries”, a company that manufactures latex. Kramer and Newman recall an incident in which Keith spit on them after a really bad Mets game. The details of the incident strangely mirror that of the JFK assassination.
  • Jerry and Elaine fix George up with a friend of hers.
  • George meets Jerry at the airport as scheduled but his car broke down on the way there and now don't have a way to get back. When Jerry notices a limo driver waiting for someone named O'Brien, he knows the passenger will never show up since he was supposed to be on Jerry's flight but refused boarding. George has a solution to their problem - just tell the driver he's O'Brien and they'll get a free ride into Manhattan. When the driver tells them he's taking them to Madison Square Garden, they assume they're going to see a Knicks-Bulls game. They're joined by an …
  • Jerry trails a hit-and-run driver but is attracted to her and begins dating her; he later learns her victim was a longtime quarry and dates the latter as well. Kramer begins having seizures whenever he hears Mary Hart's voice.
  • Jerry learns that his new artist friend, from whom George has been forced to buy a painting, plagiarized a letter to keep him from breaking up with her. Elaine refuses to remove her Baltimore Orioles cap during a New York Yankees game.
  • Coming from an outing to a flea market in New Jersey, Elaine and George damage Jerry's car when George drives over a large pothole. When they get to his apartment they conveniently find a parking space right in front of Jerry's building. As George tries to back in however, someone tries to take the spot by driving in nose first. With neither car able to park, it leads to an all day argument. Elaine meanwhile has to come with a story about the damage to the car.
  • Jerry is fed up with Kramer coming into his apartment any time he feels like it and asks him to return his spare set of keys. Kramer begrudgingly complies but then lets it be known that he's leaving for California. As for the others, the one key swap leads to multiple exchanges on pretty well everyone's part. When Jerry forgets his keys, he gets George to let him into Elaine's apartment so her can get his spare set. What they find interests them.
  • When Jerry is asked to appear on The Tonight Show in Los Angeles, George accompanies him to look for Kramer.
  • Kramer is arrested when he is mistaken for a serial killer. After he is exonerated, Jerry, George, and he return to New York.
  • NBC executives ask Jerry to come up with an idea for a TV series. George decides he can be a sitcom writer and comes up with “nothing.” Kramer trades a radar detector for a helmet, and later Newman receives a speeding ticket.
  • Jerry is asked to explain to his parents why he does not wear the watch they gave him. Morty Seinfeld thinks his wallet to have been stolen from him at his doctor's appointment.
  • Jerry tries to buy his watch back from Uncle Leo, who found it in the garbage, having been thrown there by Jerry. George tries to resurrect the fledgling NBC deal, while Elaine plans a break up from her psychotherapist with Kramer's help.
  • George and Susan invite Jerry, his girlfriend Naomi, Elaine and Kramer to spend the weekend at her parents' cabin upstate. Naomi bows out after Jerry makes a comment on her laugh and Kramer isn't interested. After Elaine goads him into it, Jerry agrees to stop off on the way and visit a fan who lives in a plastic bubble enclosed room due to an autoimmune disease. They go in separate cars and George drives so fast that Jerry and Elaine lose them and not having the boy's address end up in a diner. Kramer and Naomi meanwhile decide to go to the cabin with unfortunate …
  • Jerry offends Elaine's assistant. Kramer makes a contact for Cuban cigars. A box of letters from John Cheever is all that remains after Susan's father's cabin burns down.
  • Elaine unknowingly is dating Crazy Joe Davola, who has just left a threatening message on Jerry's recorder.
  • Not having come up for a script for their new sitcom, George and Jerry now have to face the music when they meet with NBC executives. George's lack of discretion however has repercussions. Jerry see Marla Penny in a bar and mentions to George that when he last saw her, she was a virgin. Jerry asks her out and finds out she still is. Elaine, on hearing the news, decides to give her a bit of coaching about men and what she can expect.
  • After George's mother catches him alone in a somewhat embarrassing situation, Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer stage a contest to see who can last the longest without any sexual gratification. Temptation quickly sets in for everyone. Kramer is the first to fall after ogling the woman across the street who walks around her apartment naked. George is next after he visits his mother in hospital and her roommate gets a sponge bath across from the curtain separating them. Elaine signs up for a fitness class where none other than JFK Jr. is enrolled. Her fantasizing does …
  • Jerry and Elaine are on their way back to New York but learn their original flight has been canceled. As a result, Jerry ends up in first class and Elaine in coach. While Jerry has a wonderful flight with food, champagne and a beautiful blond models as a seat mate, Elaine suffers through the flight from hell. Back in New York, George and Kramer are supposed to meet Jerry and Elaine but the change in flight - and then a change in airport - has them running all over the place. More mayhem ensues when Kramer thinks he recognizes someone from his past.
  • George has decided he's made a terrible mistake in breaking up with Susan. He moans and groans and is generally driving everybody crazy. Against everyone's advice he decides to tell her he made a mistake . No sooner are they back together than he decides he's the one who made the mistake. Elaine decides to put her picture on her Christmas cards and Kramer agrees to be the photographer. Only problem is that she exposes just a little too much of herself. Jerry meanwhile is dating the model he recently met on a flight and things seem to be going nicely….until she sees …
  • Jerry does a set at a comedy club, then goes to meet George, Elaine, and Kramer afterward to see a screening of Checkmate. However, a simple miscommunication causes the four to keep missing each other at two different theaters.
  • Jerry returns from a two week tour to find that his old friend Babu, who Jerry drove into bankruptcy by suggesting he change the menu in his restaurant, is working at the café. He's also living down the hall from Jerry who is shocked to find that Babu is arrested for overstaying his visa. Turns out his visa application got mixed in with Jerry's mail. George meanwhile asks an attractive lawyer, Cheryl, to go out with him. She laughs at everything he says and he tells Jerry to butt out and not be funny. When they hear that Cheryl does immigration law, they ask her to …
  • Elaine cant seem to figure out why her shoes are a subject of conversation. Jerry and George pitch their pilot to NBC, but the deal is nearly jinxed when George takes a peak at the cleavage of the NBC president's daughter.
  • A woman is eavesdropping on the conversation that Elaine has with Jerry and George at the coffee shop. Elaine decides to give the woman the impression that Jerry and George are a homosexual couple. Unfortunately that woman is a reporter from NYU who is doing an interview with Jerry for the school newspaper. She goes to Jerry's apartment and the suspicions are confirmed when Jerry and George get in a fight over a piece of fruit. She publishes an article using the angle that Jerry and George are a homosexual couple. Things get even worse when Jerry's birthday gifts …
  • Elaine gets the gang to volunteer at an old folks' home. She gets freaked out by hers, George gets fired by his guy, and Jerry loses his. Kramer and Newman scheme to sell records to a vintage music store and steal the records from Jerry's old guy.
  • Jerry insists that his new girlfriend has implants. But she keeps insisting that they're “real and spectacular”. The mystery goes even deeper when Elaine meets her in the sauna and trips and lands on her breasts.
  • Elaine's ex-boyfriend is recovering in the hospital and has surgery. The gang goes to visit. Kramer gets the idea to paint his apartment to simulate the feel of a ski lodge. While at the hospital, Kramer's concern about the operation gets him and Jerry in to watch. But when Kramer sneaks in candy and forces it on Jerry, Jerry starts a chain reaction that causes the Junior Mints to land in Elaine's ex-boyfriend. Jerry thinks he may have killed the guy while George, who learns that he has recently come into some money, decides to invest in the ex-boyfriend's artwork.
  • After dinner, Jerry gets his car back from the valet. He and Elaine get in the car and realize that the valet has really bad B.O.. Jerry goes to great lengths to get the smell out of his car while Elaine goes to great lengths to get the smell out of her hair. Jerry soon realizes that the smell isn't just a mere odor, but an entity unto itself, and finally decides that he has to get rid of his car. Meanwhile, George gets reacquainted with Susan and discovers that he drove her to lesbianism, and Kramer dates Susan's girlfriend.
  • At Kramer's insistence, George parks his Dad's car in a handicap spot. After a woman is injured because of it, George becomes his Dad's butler while Kramer tries to help the woman.
  • In the fourth season finale, Jerry and George's pilot is finally a go. But before the taping, Elaine desperately tries to avoid NBC president Russell Dalrymple after an awkward date, while Kramer comes face to face with his TV show counterpart. Before the pilot airs, Crazy Joe Davola (see episode “The Opera”) shows up to put a damper in the gang's plans. As the pilot is finally finished and ready for airtime, the executives at NBC aren't impressed with the result.
  • Jerry gets a shocking revelation when Elaine reveals that she faked every orgasm while they were dating. Jerry then pleads with Elaine to get a second chance in bed. Meanwhile, Kramer turns George onto the erotic pleasures of fruit, specifically the mango.
  • Kramer and his soft-spoken friend Leslie start a new line of clothing and Jerry accidentally agrees to wear it on the Today show.
  • George loses his glasses at the health club, but his plans to get a new pair using Kramer's “discount” backfires. Meanwhile, Jerry buys a black-market air conditioner - the Commando 8, and Elaine gets bit by a dog at the optometrist's office.
  • Jerry, Kramer and Newman have reason to suspect that their accountant, Barry Profit, is taking their money and using it to buy illegal narcotics. The three organize a stakeout to confirm their suspicions, while Elaine, who had a past relationship with Barry, denies it. George gets an interview at a company that manufactures women's underwear.
  • Jerry and Elaine get asked to be the godparents for their friend's newborn baby. But unfortunately the position doesn't last very long when Elaine hires a drunken rabbi to perform the Bris. While at the hospital, Kramer thinks he found a pig-man while a mental patient jumps to his death and lands on George's car.
  • George decides to use Jerry's girlfriend to spy on his friends by having her read their lips. Kramer claims he can also read lips and tries to prove it.
  • Kramer invests in a new new non-fat yogurt store, which becomes a hit in the city. Jerry and Elaine discover that they've been gaining weight and wonder if the yogurt really is non fat or not. Jerry tries to unravel this mystery while also dealing with a neighbor's kid who saw his act and the one rare instance where Jerry unleashes profanities on stage. Meanwhile, George runs into a former childhood acquaintance, Lloyd Braun, who is working on the mayoral campaign for incumbent Mayor Dinkins, but the campaign is quickly jeopardized when Elaine proposes a name tag …
  • Jerry regrets giving his longtime barber the heave-ho after he gets a ridiculous-looking haircut. George gets a job interview but the boss leaves him with a very cryptic ending. Kramer begs Elaine to let him take part in her charity bachelor auction.
  • Jerry gets mad when he dates a masseuse. Kramer and George get massages while Jerry doesn't. Meanwhile, Elaine's new boyfriend is Joel Rifkin, an innocent man who shares the same name as one of New York's most notorious serial killers.
  • Jerry is deemed a racist when he purchases a Native American statue for Elaine. Kramer tries to get Elaine's company to publish his coffee table book. Elaine runs into a really creepy man on the subway who steals Frank's TV Guide and follows her to the Costanza's house. Meanwhile, George gets grounded when he has sex with a woman in his parents' bed.
  • George decides to convert to Latvian Orthodox to impress a girl, against his angry parent's objections. Meanwhile, Kramer converts a nun at the church, and Jerry takes a peek in his girlfriend's medicine cabinet and is stunned by what he finds.
  • At a movie theater's restroom, Elaine, realizing she doesn't have any toilet paper left, asks the woman in the next stall (Jami Gertz) if she has any toilet paper to spare, but the woman refuses, claiming that she “can't spare a square”. Elaine pleads with the woman, but she leaves, ignoring Elaine. The woman returns to her seat, and is revealed as Jerry's girlfriend, Jane. Elaine is shown returning to her seat, with her new boyfriend Tony (played by Dan Cortese). The two women tell their dates about what had just happened. At Jerry's apartment, Kramer walks in, …
  • En route to a dinner party, Jerry and Elaine stop off at a bakery and get held up when the bakery runs out of what they want to purchase. Meanwhile, George and Kramer, en route to said dinner party, stop off at a liquor store to buy a bottle of wine and have a hard time picking one out.
  • George starts dating a woman who (told by Jerry) thinks George is a marine biologist. Elaine's electronic organizer injures a person after being launched from a limo by a Russian novelist. Kramer decides to golf on the beach.
  • While shopping for a new suit for a job interview, George and the others stumble upon a mannequin which scarily resembles Elaine. Meanwhile Jerry tries to figure out why his girlfriend won't try his apple pie at Monks.
  • Kramer gets a job with Micky as a TV stand-in. Jerry sets Elaine up with a guy who he says would be perfect for her. At the end of their first date he takes “it” out.
  • Jerry gets a permanent discount at his local dry cleaners after returning a locket he found in a jacket pocket. His new girlfriend Meryl also claims the discount claiming to be Jerry's wife. It all gets out of hand when Jerry's Uncle Leo hears he's married. Elaine thinks an airline pilot who goes to the same health club but her interest wanes quickly when he wipes the top of her water bottle before drinking from it. George is in trouble when the pilot sees him urinating in the shower at the same club. Kramer has had trouble sleeping at home but not, unfortunately at …
  • In this two-part episode, Jerry's parents are visiting before leaving for France. Jerry has a hard time connecting with his new girlfriend Rachel because his parents are spending so much time in his apartment. George uses the trip to get out of volunteering for the Big Brother program, but is stunned to learn that his Little Brother is searching for his dad in France. Kramer and Morty team up to sell Morty's old belt-less trench coat “The Executive” to a vintage clothing store.
  • Jerry and his girlfriend get some time alone with each other at a movie, Schindler's List, they don't see it; however, Newman sees it and them. A delay in the shipment of the raincoats will make the Seinfelds miss their flight to France, George uses this as an opportunity to get his “little” brother back to his father. The Seinfelds manage to avoid meeting the Costanzas in New York City.
  • Elaine, Jerry, George and Kramer visit friends in the Hamptons who've just had a baby. They're there for the weekend and George's new girlfriend Jane is there with him, even though they've never slept together. Jerry ‘s old girlfriend Rachel is there as well but trouble erupts when Rachel sees George naked and then giggles. Elaine takes an interest in the baby’s pediatrician but isn't sure the compliment he paid her is necessarily a compliment.
  • A simple pick up line in the coffee shop proves Jerry's theory that every instinct George has is wrong. George decides to try the opposite, and that lands him an attractive girlfriend, a job offer with the New York Yankees, and an apartment that allows him to finally move out of his parent's house. Simultaneously, Elaine's mistake of stopping off for candy after learning her boyfriend was hospitalized causes her fortune to take a downturn.
  • Jerry connects with a Miss America pageant contestant, Miss Rhode Island, at a Yankees game and asks her out on a date. They have to have a chaperone however and and Kramer volunteers. It turns out Kramer knows a lot about how to win a beauty pageant and is soon Miss Rhode Island's personal trainer. After being turned down for a job at a major book publisher, Elaine is hired by Justin Pitt as his personal assistant. Her first task is to go out and buy him new socks. George meanwhile is surprised to learn that the Yankees uniforms are made of polyester and switches …
  • Kramer thinks that a simple penalty stroke may have driven his golf partner, Steve Gennison, to murder a dry cleaner. Jerry is stunned to learn that his girlfriend not only went out with, but was dumped by Newman. George thinks Elaine gave his girlfriend an incorrect thank you when it was actually George who paid for Elaine's lunch. Elaine flirts with a stationary store employee and thinks that she may have sent him the wrong message.
  • Kramer finds Jerry's old birthday checks from his grandmother and insists he deposits them, which puts Nana in unexpected debt. Elaine accidentally tells the high talker a secret. Mr Pitt eats a Snickers bar with utensils.
  • George's telephone line crosses with that of a woman named Donna Chang, and everyone seeks her advice when she convinces them that she's Chinese. Jerry winds up dating her. George drives his girlfriend to a mental institution, and things get worse when Frank and Estelle announce a separation. Kramer can't seem to figure out why Frank Costanza is having mysterious business dealings with a man in a cape.
  • Elaine dates a moving guy, and things are going well for her until Jerry wants to know what his opinion on abortion is. Poppy returns and he and Kramer are going into business together to create a restaurant where you make your own pizza. Meanwhile, George goes out of his way to cheat on a book club test by renting “Breakfast At Tiffany's” instead of reading the book.
  • George's girlfriend's mom thinks he is a bum when she catches George eating an éclair out of the trash can, among various other coincidences. Jerry dates a woman who is a former Olympic gymnast and ventures into the territory of sexual pleasures that most men dare not dream of. Elaine tries to pry Mr. Pitt away from looking at Kramer's new 3-D art poster. Meanwhile, Kramer gets a kidney stone.
  • Kramer convinces Jerry to get a free Armani suit from hack comic Kenny Bania. But when Bania decides that he doesn't want anything except for dinner, Jerry has a hard time accepting the suit knowing that there is a far greater catch involved. Things get even worse when, during the dinner, Bania insists that soup doesn't count as a meal. Meanwhile, Elaine has a British friend stay with her for a week.
  • George buys a convertible he thinks was once owned by Jon Voight. Kramer tries to save a small shoe-repair business. Elaine answers a radio quiz, enabling Mr. Pitt to participate in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Meanwhile, Jerry tries to solve the mystery of whether or not he's invited to Tim Whatley's annual Pre-Thanksgiving party.
  • George gets a Secretary, saying he will go for efficiency and smarts rather than beauty. He hires a woman who is ‘a computer geek’, only to find himself falling in love with her.
  • When George notices that Elaine's new boyfriend reads the Daily Worker, he asks if he's a Communist. He says he is, which Elaine seems to wear as a badge of honor. Thanks to his friend Mickey, Kramer gets a job as a department store Santa. Things start out okay but veer off after he reads some literature from Elaine's boyfriend. George answers a personal ad in the Daily Worker and soon everyone in the Yankees front office thinks he's a Communist. Jerry meanwhile learns that his new girlfriend's boss is an old high school rival he once beat at a track meet and has …
  • Elaine loans Mr. Pitt's expensive tennis racket racket to an executive from Doubleday who hints there may be a job opening for Elaine soon. When the woman injures her arm, Elaine can't quite get the racket back. Jerry's girlfriend never smiles or laughs at his jokes but her roommate laughs at everything he says so he contemplates the switch. George comes up with an idea as to how he might get away with it. George's girlfriend, a model, eats like a horse but never puts on weight. Kramer suggests she might be bulimic. The gang learns Kramer's first name, thanks to his …
  • Jerry gets Super Bowl tickets but cant use them because of obligations to attend a friend's wedding. He gives them to Tim Whatley and gets a label maker in return. Elaine is convinced that the label maker is the exact same one that she gave him a week before. Jerry then accuses Whatley of “re-gifting” the label maker. George, learns that his girlfriend has a male roommate and gets weirded out by the concept, but loves the male roommate's possessions which include a velvet couch. The couple learns that the wedding is on the same day as the Super Bowl and then calls the…
  • Kramer is walking down a street and sees a man littering. He calls the guy a “pig” but doing so offends a cop who is standing a few feet away. Of course, the cop isn't paying attention and the scofflaw gets away. Kramer decides that he needs a new look and goes with an eye patch. George runs into Gary Fogel, a man who was having cancer and decided not to tell him. But he did tell Jerry, who reveals that he made himself nearly sick being nice to the guy. The next day, George meets with Gary, who drops a bombshell that he never actually had cancer and that the operation…
  • For the series' 100th episode, Jerry Seinfeld hosts a one hour retrospective with clips from previous episodes: the idea for a show about nothing; the smelly car; the puffy shirt; the astronaut pen; Jerry's hair; George's lack of hair; Mulva; Jerry's virgin girlfriend; the Hernandez incident; the outing; the masters of their domain; the bubble boy - are only a few of the episodes included.
  • Elaine attempts to convert a gay man to heterosexuality. Kramer sets George up with a woman, but forgets what she looks like. When they consult a police sketch artist, Jerry hooks up with a female officer, who then has Jerry take a polygraph test on whether or not he's seen the show “Melrose Place”.
  • Kramer tries to create a Utopian society when he puts up pictures of all the residents of his and Jerry's building. Jerry doesn't mind until the women of the building want to be greeted with a kiss. After Jerry objects to kissing hello, he's vilified and nearly kicked out of the building. Jerry also has to settle some family issues when Nana remembers that Uncle Leo was supposed to give Morty some money 50 years ago and Uncle Leo puts Nana in a home to keep her quiet. Meanwhile, Elaine's friend who is a chiropractor skips out on George's appointment and goes skiing …
  • Elaine house-sits for Mr. Pitt. Jerry goes to meet up with her to go to the movies and winds up offending the Doorman. So to make up for it, Jerry watches the door. But when Jerry leaves his post and the couch in the lobby is stolen, Jerry and Elaine formulate a plan to cover their tracks. Meanwhile, Kramer invents a bra for men and George tries to find a way to get his father out of his apartment.
  • The gang has various encounters with a man named Jimmy, who talks about himself in the 3rd person. Elaine asks Jimmy to go to the benefit for the Able Mentally Challenged Adults organization starring Mel Torme. Thanks to Jimmy's shoes and getting too much Novocaine at Whatley's office, Kramer is mistaken for a mentally challenged man when he encounters the head of the AMCA. Jerry suspects Tim Whatley and his assistant are using patients for sexual pleasures when he finds pornographic magazines in Whatley's waiting room and thinks that he was violated while under the …
  • George dates a girl from Elaine's art class and wonders whether or not her humorous caricature of him is a sign that she likes him or not. Thanks to Newman's fleas, Jerry's visiting parents are forced to stay in Elaine's luxury hotel room. Elaine gets a potential job offer but accidentally leaves the manuscript in Jerry's flea-infested apartment.
  • Kramer gets new license plates, but a DMV screw-up gives him a new vanity license plate - “ASS MAN”. George's mom gets plastic surgery. Kramer makes pasta sculptures of his friends, and makes one out of Jerry using Fusilli pasta. Jerry tells Puddy about his “move”, which he proceeds to use on Elaine. He also tells George, but George screws it up, and his girlfriend gets freaked out when he uses crib notes. Kramer finally tracks down the Ass Man when Frank falls on the Fusilli Jerry and they have to take him to a proctologist.
  • Jerry's new agent thinks he's a celebrity who needs his hand held on every little decision. After she tells him that the pilot who flew the plane to Ithaca is in the audience, Jerry freaks out. Kramer goes to the Diplomat's Club to meet up with Jerry and winds up gambling with a Texas business man on which plane is going to arrive first. Meanwhile, Mr. Pitt puts Elaine in his will, and Mr. Pitt's lawyer has reason to suspect that Elaine is up to something.
  • Jerry scores premium tickets to a New Jersey Devils playoff game. He invites Kramer, Puddy, and Elaine along. But Jerry gets weirded out when Puddy shows up at the game and paints his face to match the team colors. Puddy gets so worked up after the game that he freaks out a visiting pastor from El Salvador, who is convinced that Puddy really is the devil. Elaine tries to convince him otherwise. Kramer enjoyed the game so much that he tries to convince Jerry to get more tickets from the guy Jerry got them from. Meanwhile, George decides to tell his girlfriend that he …
  • Jerry dates the ultra-sensitive understudy for Bette Midler in Rochelle, Rochelle: The Musical. When the Improv is scheduled to play Rochelle Rochelle in a softball game, George plows into catcher Bette Midler to score the winning run. Bette is injured because of the incident and is unable to perform in the Broadway premiere. Jerry, George, and the understudy are vilified for the incident, and Kramer goes out of his way to help Bette. Meanwhile, Elaine suspects that a local nail shop is making fun of her in Korean. She learns that George's dad Frank speaks Korean and …
  • While sitting in the coffee shop, Jerry and George resolve to grow up and take life more seriously. Jerry decides to call the woman he recently broke up with - because she shushed him. For his part, George has been thinking a lot about his former girlfriend Susan. After imagining the ideal life they could have together, he goes to her apartment and proposes. She accepts and George almost immediately begins to have second thoughts, especially after Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend a second time. Elaine meanwhile is having trouble with a neighbor's barking dog and …
  • Feeling overwhelmed, George wants to postpone marrying Susan.
  • Elaine dates the conductor of an orchestra who insists everyone calls him “Maestro.”
  • Jerry squirts grapefruit into George's eye at breakfast, and for the rest of the day George is misinterpreted because everyone thinks he is winking at them.
  • Wilhelm thinks George is cracking under the pressure of working in the big leagues. So he has George entertain a group of visiting baseball officials from the Houston Astros, who are in New York to discuss inter-league play. George picks up a bad habit from them, who call everyone either a “bastard” or a “son of a bitch”. Kramer buys a hot tub from his friend Lomez and installs it in his apartment. At the same time, Elaine is having a marathon runner from Trinidad And Tobago named Jean Paul Jean Paul stay with her as a house guest. Jean Paul was in the Olympics and …
  • A soup stand owner obsesses about his customers' ordering procedure, but his soup is so good that people line up down the block for it anyway.
  • George refuses to give anyone his secret code (BOSCO). Kramer buys a police scanner. Jerry does a series of ads for Leapin' Larry's Appliance Store. Elaine has dinner with J. Peterman but after she and Jerry bail on the dinner, George is stuck to dine with Peterman. George spills his secret code to Peterman's dying mother and gets in trouble for it.
  • Jerry has a hard time telling the pool guy at his new health club that there isn't room for a 5th member of the group. George's worlds collide when Elaine starts hanging out with Susan. Kramer discovers that his phone number is one digit off from that of a popular movie-finding service and offers help to those that mistakenly call his number.
  • After learning that her prophylactic of choice is being discontinued, Elaine buys a case of Today sponges and scrutinizes her dates for their sponge-worthiness.
  • Lloyd Braun comes back from the insane asylum. Kramer takes him under his wing and convinces Jerry to buy gum from him and wear glasses that don't belong to him to prove that Lloyd isn't crazy. George tries to prove to his old neighbor Deena that he isn't crazy after a cashier short changes him.
  • After George's parents take back the bread they gifted to Susan's parents, George makes Jerry find another loaf and tries to appease Susan's parents by taking them on Kramer's Manhattan horse tours, to disastrous consequences.
  • Elaine's floozy former ex-roommate Sue Ellen Mischkie returns. George locks his keys in his car and leaves it in the Yankees parking lot. Elaine, out of spite, buys Sue Ellen a bra for a birthday gift as she has never worn one. George, having successfully convinced Wilhelm and Steinbrenner that he's putting in extra hours, decides to skip town with Susan after learning that her father rebuilt the cabin. So George asks Kramer and Jerry to go to Yankee Stadium and take the fliers off of his car. The car is really dirty, and Jerry and Kramer decide to go take it to the …
  • George meets Susan's cousins. The wife is expecting a baby and they are having a hard time agreeing on the name. George reveals that he wants to name his kid Seven after Mickey Mantle. The cousins like the idea of naming their kid Seven, but nobody else does. Elaine buys an antique bicycle and hurts her neck in the process. Kramer fixes her neck and wants the bicycle in exchange for payment. Jerry's new girlfriend wears the same dress every single day.
  • In this hour-long episode, Jerry performs the biggest show of his life in Atlantic City. He receives a rather generous pay check for the event, and decides to buy his father a Cadillac. Unfortunately, doing so puts Morty in the hot seat with the condo board of directors, where he serves as president. Morty is accused of stealing money from the board, and ultimately gets removed from his post as president and kicked out of the condo. Meanwhile, thanks to Elaine, George can score a date with “My Cousin Vinnie” star Marisa Tomei but Elaine objects because of George's …
  • Peterman wants Elaine to go to Africa, but when Elaine tests positive for Opium in her physical, that means no dice. George tries to convince his parents to move to Florida so that he finally gets his “buffer zone”, but they have problems with Jerry's parents. Kramer and Newman scheme to buy black market shower heads when the building switches to low-flow ones.
  • George freaks out when he discovers that Susan has a doll that looks exactly like his mother. Jerry decides to use that as a bit on the Charles Grodin show when his prop gets destroyed in his carry-on luggage, but fellow comedian Sally Weaver screws up his bit by bringing him the wrong doll.
  • Jerry has a hard time getting membership in the Friar's Club when the Flying Santos Brothers take his jacket during a show. Meanwhile, Elaine suspects that a new co-worker (Rob Schnieder) is faking a hearing disorder to get out of doing work.
  • Susan's friends are in town for the Broadway production of Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Kramer gets to wear the coat and is mistaken for a pimp in public when he accuses a local parking lot of running a prostitution ring out of his car. Jerry buys a jacket and later returns it for spite. Elaine tries to buy a dress from the same guy Jerry gets the jacket from, but is stunned to learn that he's holding it until Elaine sleeps with him.